So this last week we were talking with an investigator and I really don't remember what we were talking about but from the conversation I remembered when I was serving back in Norwood (which was December-April last) and I remember being devastated by the most crippling doubts that I have ever experienced in my life! Although I had had spiritual moments and lessons and had a very defined testimony there were several weeks where I just questioned everything! It was all in my mind, I made sure that I didn't tell anyone else because I thought it was a weakness and I thought that I would hurt other people's testimony if I told them about it so all I did was pray.
Day in and day out I prayed that I would be able to overcome the doubts and that I could have the confidence in the Gospel that I once enjoyed! It didn't come all at once and I don't think I ever noticed them really go away but all I know is that now I can look back at that experience and just be so grateful because I was able to overcome that which I thought I would never get out of.
Really, that is the big trick. Satan wants us to believe that when we go through things we have no hope. There will be no end to the hurt or the doubt or the sorrow or whatever our current trial is. But you yourself are the testimony that that is not true!!!! Can you see that? How many hard days have you gone through? And how many of those hard days have you made it through? Yep you have a perfect score and so why would now be any different than alllll those days and years before? You will continue to get through. The only difference is will you allow Christ to carry you through so that you can have peace as you overcome your challenges? Because there are 2 ways to overcome something, one way is to be dragged through completely miserable OR you can decide to overcome triumphantly and confidently. I hope you can see the hope. I hope you can see the way, because He is the way. Where faith is, fear cannot abide. Just like where light is, there can be no darkness.
So this week was great! It is definitely cooling down out here and we are using thermals and jackets but the fact that we made it halfway though November is still pretty dang good! This happened last year when I was down in Kentucky also so we are hoping for another very mild winter! Although either way I am in a car area right now so I have that. Last year we were walking 100% of the time!
Also transfers are in 2 weeks and I've decided I want to stay in Muncie forever it is soooooo great here! Okay here are two fun facts. One, Parks and Rec is set here which a lot of people know about but here is another. Two, Bob Ross was filmed here also! We went over and did some service and painted a room in an investigators house and they had Bob Ross on which I love and he said that indeed that was filmed here!
I love you guys! Thank you so much for your unseen prayers for me and thoughts.
Elder Mark Howland